Update #1, to the previous post, "Stages," in which Mary gets a job

Joe and I had talked about me looking for part time work after we moved. I wanted to get settled a little bit more before taking on this new thing. Besides having a little bit of extra money, Joe felt strongly that if I had too much discretionary time might, it might prove to be fertile ground in which my depression could again take root.

I was not actively looking for work yet. But I was starting to get more serious about the idea. I imagined to myself that perhaps in February, after the Christmas rush and recovery, I'd try to find something. I had "poked around," a little bit on the internet to see what kinds of jobs might be available. I did not want to work full time. I did not want to work when my kids were home from school. I did not want to have to buy a whole new wardrobe. I did not want to work in some food service type job in which I'd bring home gluten dust to drop into Joe's life. And I definitely did not want to drive 20 miles into Willmar for an entry level part time job.

So the couple of eating establishments in town were out. The bank was out. I am sorry to say that I don't feel like there is enough compassion left in me to be a CNA at the nursing home. There are a handful of other small businesses in town that I imagined might be suitable, but whether or not they'd be hiring anyone part time when I wanted a job was questionable.

There are two manufacturing places in town that seemed like possibilities. Kay's and Impact Innovations. But when I had periodically looked at their websites to check on employment opportunities, when there were jobs listed, they were always full time jobs.

I said in my previous post,

I have this fall, for the first time in 22 years, no children at home. People have asked what I'll do with myself. "Will you be bored or lonely?" "Are you going to look for a job?"

I further said,

When the time is right, I know God will present me with just the right "outside the home" job.

Just after Thanksgiving I got a call from a woman named Kathy at a local business, Kay's Naturals. Kathy said something like, "I understand you're looking for part time work. I can't say for sure I have a job for you, but if you're interested, I can present the idea at this afternoon's meeting and get back to you." Wow! That just blew me away.

And so I have a job. Just like that.

There is a little big of background to the story. One of the men at our church, Adam, is a supervisor at Kay's. Adam and I were talking in perhaps mid-November about my casual search for a job that maybe would turn more active in a few months.

Adam was at the other end of things with his job. Kay's had lost some full time employees. And there had been some difficulties with finding full time employees with a good work ethic.

Hmmmm, thought, the two of us somewhat in unison, "Too bad the companies that need people would not consider hiring part time. It seems like a part time person who is a good worker would be better than an extended search for the right a full time person."

Adam mentioned that he might ask about that if the opportunity arose.

And I gave the conversation really no more thought at all. I did not imagine that this conversation would lead to a spontaneous offer of a job.

But it did. Out of the clear blue sky.

Within about two weeks or our conversation.

So I talked to Joe. And I said yes.

I work from 8:30-12:30, Monday through Friday. After the kids leave for school I have about 45 minutes before I have to get ready to get out the door. I work in the shipping department, so I am moving all the time, which is good for me, since I've always dreaded the idea of a sedentary job. I work mostly with Adam and Cheryl F. Both are wonderful coworkers and they have been great trainers.

Oh, and did I mention that I can see the plant from my front door. I usually go out  my back door, but from the time I head out the door and get into the building and into the break room where I have to clock in, it's a four minute walk. I walk down the road, over the bridge, through a small green space, across the railroad tracks and around the warehouse to the front door. It's about 1/4 mile.

I've lost six pounds since I started working there.

People ask how I like my new job and I can eagerly say that I like it alot.

I still don't like that I am no longer a full-time, stay-at-home mom. But that is a post for a different day.

Stages

This is a post from October.  Some things have changed. But I'll save the updates for a different post.
Each stage has its own challenges and blessings. Each mommy has different skills and coping devices and stamina.

For me, my most productive and organized time was 4 and 5 kids. I don't know what happened in there, but I finally "got the hang of" the whole homemaking/ mothering organization.

But then I lost that after the two moves in 16 months that happened between babies 5 and 6. I never "got my groove back." I've gotten some parts back at some times, had new challenges thrown at me, totally lost any efficacy at other times, and then eventually sunk into a several years long depressive episode.

But now I'm back. I'm off antidepressants, feeling good, still struggling with concentration and motivation, but I really think that, too will improve with time and quiet.

Sometimes I see everything I've let slide over the last, say, ten or twelve years, and feel, .... overwhelmed. But I try very hard to not "go there," in that it's not productive and for me, I know now, might trigger the horrible depression into which I lapsed.
And now I find myself at a new stage, a new season. I have this fall, for the first time in 22 years, no children at home. People have asked what I'll do with myself. "Will you be bored or lonely?" "Are you going to look for a job?"

These are all valid questions. And things I've wondered myself. Joe has suggested I look for part time work. It would certainly help the budget. But for right now, I think there is plenty to do around the house. Plenty of organizing, plenty of cleaning. And of the making of lists there is no end.

I'm focusing on small steps. I'm trying to exercise. I'm trying to have after school snacks and meals ready at appropriate times. Healthy ones even! I try to not buy much prepared foods, or processed food, convenience foods, or whatever you want to use for a description of that stuff that you buy pre-made and just have to open a can or take something from freezer to oven. But this last six or eight months, after a move to a new house and having big kids home for the summer and people needing meals to go and meals at strange times, etc, .... And me having my kitchen kind of totally non-operational. I confess I've slipped a little bit. I've bought canned beans rather than cooking my own. I've used frozen pizza more times than I like to admit. I've used way more pasta than meat and potatoes. Even a quick pot of rice sometimes has seemed like too much work.

So meals, yes. It takes much out of me. And I need to get more organized, plan ahead, learn to shop at my new home, and finish tweaking the kitchen function.

I need to get the family office space or desk or file cabinet or whatever into a functional order. I need to know where the bills get put when they come in. I need to know where all the mail goes, and where to put the church mail for Joe. I need to have a good workable place for the kids to put the reams of paper they bring home from school. I need to research and be ready to discuss with Joe different option for debt reduction, since yes, over the last 15 years the level of our consumer debt has crept up and up and up. Something we were never, ever going to let happen. But it did. Gradually. Little by little. Month by month.

I want to create a smoothly enough running home so that when the kids are home, I like them. Say what?!?!

Of course I like my kids. I love them, in fact. But when the household is chaos, and all those bodies come tumbling in from the school bus, and they all want to tell me about their day. Some want snack and some like to do homework first and then snack and nobody wants to pick up their coats and jackets or put their shoes away right. Some can't find pencils, others need the computer, and there's always a line for something or other I need to sign, or something for which to write a check.

When all of this comes at me at about 4:30 in the afternoon, if supper is not already in the oven and laundry for the day done and folded, and other other daytime tasks I'm focusing on finished up, ... if I'm not up and running and ready for the afternoon commotion, ... sometimes by 5:00 I do not like my kids very much. And sadly, they do not like each other or me very much either. When the mom's not on top of things, the dynamic of everyone is adversely affected. It's one of those times of day that really can benefit from a mom with all her brain and a goodly part of her energy accessible.

That's what I hope to establish for my family in the next few months. There are signs that things are getting better.

I have been exercising. I have been brave enough to tackle some financial things. I have been about 70% on target with meals. I'm still only at about 50% of the time up-and-running kind of ready for the kids when they come home from school. The kitchen and living area tweaks continue, each one bringing a bit more order and therefore a bit more stability.

And we've started having read aloud again. At first it was only maybe once a week or so. But we're up to maybe two or three times a week that our evenings are smooth enough to manage it. I love being able to do that for and with the kids again. Some of my older kids' happiest memories involve something about the stories we read together when they were young. Either playing pretend with the story line, drawing scenes from it, repeating our favorite phrases at appropriately humorous times. It is something I cherish. So far I have not had much success in managing to work it in with the younger kids.

And so life goes one, the stages run, one into the next. Each with its own blessings and challenges. I praise God that I've been able to kick the prozac. I am so thankful for the gradually returning of my "old self." I thank God for each of my kids and each of the many joys they bring me. I am thankful for my Joe, who has sustained me, and put up with me, and loved me, just as I have him through all his stages and seasons.

And I pray God's blessings on this new and different stage of our lives, that of having no kids home during the day. When the time is right, I know God will present me with just the right "outside the home" job. I know until that time there is plenty to do here. I pray that I am able to continue to improve with focus and energy to get it all done.

30 day challenge update

I'm not doing so very well at doing 30 consecutive days of exercise. But I am moving more than I might have with out the challenge.

The big news is that I have a new walking partner and we've been doing long kind of slower walks and getting fresh air and good visits and putting on miles.  Both of us have been using Map My Walk at the Under Armour fitness site.

Here are my stats for last three days.

Wednesday 4.5 miles

Thursday 4.96 miles

Friday 4.49 miles

End of Summer = New School+New Things for Adult Children= Excitement and Trepidation

Anther post from early August that never got posted.  I'll add comments in purple with updates where applicable.

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Where has summer gone ? ! ?

The kids start school on September 1.  The MACCRAY (Maynard, Clara City, Raymond) school district is about 1/2 again as large as Red Lake County Central, but from what contact we've had so far, it still seems like a very personal and caring atmosphere.  Just as we had up north,  there are several school workers among our members.

Sophie and Clara will be in school here in town, just a mile away.  Our younger kids will be in the neighboring city of Maynard, seven miles away.  That seems blessedly close compared to the distance our kids used to have to travel to school.  The junior high/high school in Oklee was 13 miles away, and the elementary school in Plummer was 17 miles from where we lived.

MACCRAY has a four day school week for at least the next year.  I'm excited about that.  When we first put our kids in public school five years ago, one of the neighboring districts had a four day week.  I remember saying to some of the other moms that I would really enjoy that extra day with my kids.  Well, now I get that extra day and I'm tickled pink.

Another change for us this year will be that the high school and part of the elementary is what's considered an iPad school.  My kids have had tablets.  I'm not impressed.  I was assured by the counselor we talked to regarding enrolling our kids, that the iPads they use in the schools are strong and durable.  I hope this is true.  I do not relish the thought of forking over replacement money when my chronically destructive children damage their iPads.  Oy weh.  Some of the kids are excited.  They think the idea of having a gadget/device that they are allowed to use in school is pretty cool.

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So far, no broken iPads.  In the elementary school the kids leave them in cubbies at school when not in use. "That's a mercy anyhow!"

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Louisa has moved to Moorhead into an apartment with some girlfriends.  Whitney is one of Louisa's best friends from up north.  The girls have known each other since they were six.  Sabrina became a good friend of theirs this past year in the MSUM Nelson Hall.  Louisa has just a couple of prerequisites to take before applying for nursing school at M-State, so she has registered to take them on-line this fall and put in as many hours as able working at Eventide Senior Living.  She hopes to start her nursing classes in January.

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Louisa ran into some unexpected snags with her online classes. She was familiar with the website through which she was to submit her work, but for some reason, her instructor was not seeing her assignments come through.  Because of this and other factors, she decided to simply work this semester.  She got a full time job at a day care and she's still on call for her CNA work at Eventide if she wants to pick up shifts.

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Elsie will be returning to Bethany in Mankato this fall for her second full year of college and her final year of high school.  She will continue to live with Lance and Cassie for now.  She has hopes to get an apartment with a girlfriend once she turns 18 in January, but that option is still being, .... bandied around.  I'm in much less of a hurry for her to grow up than is she.  Because of the difference in graduations requirements between Oklee and Clara City, Elsie will graduate from RLCC in Oklee on May 27, 2016.  She is in fact in Oklee this weekend to take care of some school related business and to see her friends from there.  Elsie will move to Mankato next weekend.'

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Elsie seems to be doing well.  She is still working at Hillrest nursing home in Mankato, but has limited the number of shifts she can do in a two week period to five so she has more time for school.  

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Matt is also hoping to go to school at some point.  Because of expenses and missed work due to his car accident, he has decided to postpone his start date once again.  But he is still planning to move to Fargo come fall.  He's been checking out apartments and filling out the necessary paperwork.  I've not heard yet whether he has found anything for sure yet.  As far as jobs go, he's open to just about anything that will give him enough hours to pay his expenses and save some money for school.  With his experience working for Quinten, and other summer workers heading back to school, he could probably find work for a general contractor if that's what he decides to do.  He's also keeping his eyes and ears open for anything else that might sound good.

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Matt has his own place in Fargo now, a studio type apartment.  Last I heard he still had one more load of stuff to bring down from rural Oklee.  He has a job, installing siding, but he doesn't start until Monday, since he had Marine drill this week.

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Jeremy has also moved to a new apartment, with one of his Mankato area acquaintances.  He's working at Hardee's to pay his expenses and is also continuing his various creative pursuits such as writing and electronic game producing.  He's also in line to start with the British Amway affiliate, Britt Worldwide, once he gets his driver's license.  

Except for having been mugged in Mankato over the summer, I think he is mostly happy with his life.  I'm taking him a dresser this weekend.  Then he can stop living out of boxes and be happier still.  

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Packing up the Sea Green Room

The following is a post I did during the packing last winter.  For some reason it didn't get posted.  It gives a little glimpse into what we were feeling and doing.  I suspect it was from late March or early April.

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I was feeling a little melancholy yesterday afternoon. 

Tues and Wed last week Elsie was home for spring break; she and I boxed up her possessions.  Then she said goodbye to a few friends and returned to Mankato.  She will not be home again before we move. 

Louisa was home for the weekend; she and I boxed up her possessions.  This is what's left of Louisa's stuff.  Her firearms and bow, and the dress she'll wear her last Sunday here.   Kind of sad and lonely looking.

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I will confess here that I was tickled when I saw that the congregation did not repaint this room. The pictures I took didn't turn out well, but on one wall, Louisa has light greenish yellow rather than the bluish green. I was skeptical when she first wanted to do this, about how the colors would turn out. But I ended up really liking it.

On the yellowish wall, she used the bluer color to write the words to a favorite song. On one of the blu-green walls, she used the yellower color to freehand the words to verse 4 of Psalm 23 above and alongside the double doors, "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me."

Day 2 of the 30 day challenge

I chose this Chris Powell Level 1 Beginners Workout today.



This video first caught my eye because the participants appear to all be at least a bit overweight as am I. 

"If they can do it, so can I."   Being as out of shape as I currently am, I have had trouble doing even the beginning exercises on some videos.   I was optimistic.  

But as the video started, Mr. Powell went through the lineup of participants, and all but one had lost significantly large amounts of weight over the past year.  The only one who had not lost a substantial amount of weight was a friend of his who was just visiting.  

"Oh no!" thought I, "Even if they're overweight, they are probably more fit than am I." 

I wondered if I'd be able to keep up after all. 

And I'm happy to say that, yes, I was able.

What I really liked about this video is that it really, truly is for beginners. For those with significant motion loss due to obesity or age or other factors. 

One of the movements is simply getting down to the ground on all fours and getting back up, and repeating that.  He constantly reminded the viewers about the weight lost that the other participants had managed, and that at first they too had trouble with such basic movements.  

I think this would be a great starting point for someone with severely limited motion, strength, and cardio ability.  

Day one of my new 30 day challenge

I'm starting a 30 day challenge with my friends.  Each day, for 30 days, I have to do some sort of exercise.  Something I can claim as fitness related.  Today I did  this exercise video.  It's a perfect way to start, since I'm so stiff and immobile  these days.