I realize that not everyone homeschools the way I do. There are probably as many right ways to teach your kids at home as there are families. But the following is typical for me, for the last 10 years. And anyone with toddlers and preschoolers will imagine clearly the situation.
Characters:
theMom
Sophie 7 years
John 6 years
Stella 4 years
Donna 2 years
Inge 11 months
Setting:
A family living room. The mother is attempting to fold laundry. The children's morning chores are finished up and they are beginning to be bored. A variety of discontented noises reach theMom's ears.
theMom: Stella, John, why don't you get your school workbooks and do a few pages. If you do it in here, I can read the instructions as I fold laundry.
Please bring the little table from your room so you have a nice work space. Various noises of book and table and chair gathering ensue, theMom picks up a laundered item to fold.
theMom:
Make sure you each have a pencil with an eraser and bring the crayon box.John: What do I do on this page?
Stella: What do I do on this page?
theMom gives instructions, picks up a second laundered item to fold.
Sophie: Can I do mine, too?
theMom: Just make sure you have a pencil with an eraser.
John: What do I do on this page?
Stella: What do I do on this page?
Sophie: What do I do on this page?
theMom gives instructions, picks up the same laundered item to fold, Inge and Donna enter.
John: What do I do on this page?
Stella: What do I do on this page?
Sophie: What do I do on this page?
theMom gives instructions, again picks up second laundered item to fold, Inge and Donna enter.
John: I'm moving to the piano bench. The table's too crowded. What do I do on this page?
Stella: What do I do on this page?
theMom gives instructions
Sophie: What is a pod?
theMom: A shell, as in the outside of a a garden pea that we take off before eating the little round things. She tries, futilely to remember whose shirt she is holding.
John: What do I do on this page?
Stella: What do I do on this page?
theMom gives instructions, picks up the same laundered item to refold.
Inge: agghugherrr
Stella: Inge is sitting on my book!
John: Donna, stop coloring on my school work.
theMom: Please get Donna a coloring book form the other room.
theMom once again wonders whose shirt she's holding.
theMom: Thank you. Here Donna, you color in this book.
Sophie: Can I hold a the?
theMom, puzzled: What?
Sophie: I'm supposed to circle the words I can hold?
theMom: Well,...I suppose you could hold the words that come after the, like doll or the the worm or the pencil. But you can't really hold a "the".
theMom picks up another laundered clothing item.
John: Donna, stop it!
Stella: Inge, stop it!
John: What am I supposed to do?
Stella: I'm done with that page, what do I do here?
Sophie: What does lag mean? Can I hold one?
John: Inge is climbing. What do I dooo?
theMom addresses everyone's concerns and looks at the pants in her hand as if they are from outer space.
John: What do I do on this page?
Stella: What do I do on this page?
theMom gives instructions, picks up the same foreign laundry item to refold.
Stella: Inge get off the table! Mom, what do I do on this page?
Donna: Wahh! I want John's book.
Ripping noise.
John: Donna! Mom, Donna ripped my school book.
Thudding noise. Loud piercing cry!
Inge: Wahhh! Waaahhh!
theMom rescues Inge and notices her lip is bleeding. She exits the room.
John: What do I do on this page?
Stella: What do I do on this page?
John: Mom, what do I do on this page?
Stella: Mom, what do I do on this page?
Sophie: Can I hold a den?
John: Moooom!
Stella: Mooom!
theMom: I've got a little emergency here. I'll be right there.
theMom re-enters the room holding the weeping infant, dabs gently at the baby's bloody mouth and fields all the questions. She sets the now calmed baby down and picks up another laundry item.
John: Mom, what do I do on this page?
Stella: Mom, what do I do on this page?
And so it goes. Total laundry folded? Approx three items, but there is no guarantee they are in the correct pile.
Do I wonder why I have to hire household help?
3 comments:
A blog entry like this every day would make me feel sooo much more adequate. Loved it!
Well, there are no guarantees in this business. You notice I said it was a typical day. My reactions on that particular day, were probably not typical. You probably wouldn't want to read about my normal response to such a situation And I certainly wouldn't want to write about it.
But then, it probably would also go a long way to helping others feel adequate. :-)
Glad you enjoyed the post.
Ok, I am laughing hysterically at this point! You are hilarious! Sounds pretty typical!
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