Friday, August 20, 2010

Toy Morbidity

This title is not, as one might think, a reference to a dying toy. Oh, no. But instead to a toy that has morbid qualities.

One of my kids got a strange toy in a collection of various toys bagged together at Goodwill for a buck. At first glance the toy just appears to be a Kid's meal type toy from a fast food joint. At second glance, this proves to be true. Notice the Burger King logo in the bottom corner.

But by examining this toy even more closely, the fun really starts. As I sat fidgeting mindlessly with this toy, I gradually became aware that the toy appears to depicts a small child drowning.

Now, I am sure there is some story behind this toy.  Probably, this is a character from a Nickelodeon movie.  Probably the child who might appear, to uninformed mothers to be drowning, is really some sort of super heroine who survives or even thrives while being slowly submerged in water.

But, alas, I see I do not possess a broad enough culturally literacy to be familiar with the story.  And without knowledge of the story, I am sorry to say, this is a pathetic toy.  Really.  What parent in his or her right mind would buy their child a toy depicting a child drowning?  Oh, yeah, those who let their kids buy a bag full of junk for a buck.  Oh, yeah, now I remember.

Please also note the "children's choice award" label at the bottom edge.  Hmmm.  Does this say something about our society's children?

I've prepared a little video depiction of this toy's special features.  Please do not let small children view the following.  I won't be held accountable if anyone is scarred for life...

I hope you have enjoyed tonight's feature presentation.