Learning to Knit Socks: Seasons 1-4 and Season 5, Days 1-7 AKA I'm glad nobody has a time lapse video of the process

Season one:  Last fall

I started noticing all the cool sock yarns in the fabric stores.  Most of the patterns were for knitting.  I rarely knit, due to the higher risk of losing my work if the needles get jostled by little ones. 

"Oh, well," thought I, "I guess I won't be using any of those cool yarns any time soon."

Season two:  Early Last winter

I bought some cool yarn for Louisa to make some socks for a friend.  I found out she wanted to make obnoxious socks, not nice ones.  She therefore didn't want my nice sock yarn. 

"Oh, dear,"  thought I, "I will have to figure out something to do with it."

I found some crocheted sock patterns, and didn't like them. 

In a weak moment, I gave into temptation.  I not only bought double pointed knitting needles, I also bought a second variety of sock yarn. 

Season three:  Late last winter and into spring

I kicked around and tripped over all my piles of yarn.  I growled at the kids when they got into it and strewed it all over my bedroom.

"Grrrrrr,"  thought I.  Actually that's probably what I said out loud.  Sadly, my thoughts might have been a bit more colorful.

Season four:  Last summer

I took the yarn out several times to look at it.

"Hmm?"  thought I.  "Nope, probably not going to happen any time soon."

Season five:  This fall

"It's time," thought I, "to learn how to knit socks."

Days one through four: 

I got out my knitting needles and some regular yarn to refresh my memory.  Nothing I did worked right. 

"Grrrrr,"  thought I.

I crocheted two scarves and a baby afghan instead.

Day five:

I opened my double pointed needles and read the pattern. 

"Oh, dear,"  thought I.  "Not today."

I put the sock knitting stuff back in the bag and tied it shut.

Day six:

I watched some videos on using double pointed needles.

I also cast on the correct number of stitches onto one needle and divided them onto the others as the beginner videos recommended. 

I knit and purled the first needle, according to instructions for the k2p2 ribbing.

"I see," thought I, "why Haleigh suggested learning the Hold the thread in your left hand method."

All that switching the yarn back and forth between the teeny tiny needles, with the teeny tiny yarn, and all eight points of the dpns hanging all over the place, takes way to much time.  Very annoying. 

"I'm glad"  thought I further, "I only have to do 1 1/2" of this k2p2 ribbing."

A little while later, I pulled everything out and put away the yarn and the dpns.  I tied the bag shut once again.

Day seven:

I cast on all three of my needles.  It went much better this time.  I even managed to cast on the three needles separately, rather than casting on all of the stitches onto one, and then dividing them onto the others.  (This is apparently a more advanced method.  See, I'm improving.)

I stitched the first needle with the k2p2 pattern.  When I got to the end of my needle, the pattern was off. 

"Oh, well," thought I.  "Keep plugging along.  Your pattern's off, but at least you're learning."

I got to the end of the second needle.  The pattern was further afield.

I got to the end of the third needle.  Yes, even further off yet.

I put my work in the bag, but I did not take it off the needles or tie shut the bag.

Yet.